rant · review

Top ten worst songs about 2016.

2016 is one of the most terrible years of all year, no doubt about it, and naturally this year is music also,well, sucked. We had the swedish danish band that apparently thought that they were the next big thing, The Chainsmokers made the return that they shouldn’t of made and we had Meghan Trainor, the woman who magically trashed her own carreer with one song. Wow, what a lineup. And now, in no particular order, the ten worst songs of 2016.

Seven Years by Lukas Graham

Seven Years is a special song, it has a decent singer, a decent band and decent lyrics. What went wrong? 7 years is a very decent song involving the larger than life band Lukas Graham, and their deep as hell fictionalized life, well not, like, the band members, no. That would be silly, duh! Instead folllow the life of Lukas Forchhammer, who the band is named after. This singing is pretty average, the instruments are ehhh and the lyrics are fictionalized and vain as hell. Overall, it’s a boring song that was ruined by overplay.

Team by Iggy Azaelia

I have to apologize on behalf of all white Australian girls for Iggy Azalea. Iggy Azalea is an Australian female white (the horror) rapper who raps about stereotypical rapping things like being fancy, being hot and um, something to do with a team? The lyrics in this particular song is atrocious and extremely vague (is she talking about how she doesn’t need anybody on her team? Or is she talking about how nobody should mess with her team? help me.) Which isn’t helped by her terrible rapping. A terrible but mildly catchy song.

Closer by the Chainsmokers

Remember that one song, Selfie that you weren’t allowed to hate because “it’s just a parody, bro” but everybody did anyway? Yeah, well the makers of that song made a comeback. It started with a surprisingly good song, Roses then a rather terrible song , Don’t let me down and then Closer. Closer is one of those songs whose lyrics is vague enough to cater to the millennials but detailed enough to sound personal, the production is mehh and the drop is pretty generic but out of all the songs, overplay ruined this one the most. Boring song, boring production, boring singing, boring everything.

Me too by Meghain Trainor

2016 was a the year of careers being ruined by bad choices of singles. one of the most popular example was “All about that bass” singer, Meghan Trainor. Meghan trainor decided is was okay to release a song called Me too. What was me too about? You ask. Well, it’s about how “If I was you, I’d wanna be me, too”. Yeah, that’s the chorus. The lyrics were, obviously terribly arrogant (which did not mesh well with the general public) and it was overproduced to hell, not a good choice for a single, Meghan. I know it’s supposed to be said by yourself in front of your mirror (thanks angry comments) but that doesn’t cross out the fact that the production makes me want to kill myself.

Work by Rihanna

Work Work Work Work Work Work Work Work Work Work… Getting annoying yet? Work by Rihanna featuring Drake is the epitome of annoying. This is literally one of those songs that literally irritate me so much. The lyrics were awful, probably the worst of the year and the beat, I swear was incomplete. The whole song just makes me want to throw my whole radio out of the radio. The song also feels awkward and incomplete, the lyrics are downright stupid and feel more like a draft, oh and it doesn’t help that Rihanna and Drake split up later that year. Ouch.

Juju on that beat by Zay Hilfiger

Juju on that Beat is a vine song in a world where vine does not exist. Honestly, I don’t hate this song as much (it’s a bit of a guilty pleasure of mine) but I can’t ignore that this song was made cash in on the success of vine songs (such as “Hit the quan”). Everything about this song is just song tacky and immature and the lyrics make no absolute sense. Luckily due to the fact that vine does not exist anymore we probably will be getting anymore of these songs. This song is fun to dance to if you’re drunk, not so much if you just want to listen to some decent music on the radio.

Treat You Better by Shawn Mendes

If you’ve followed my writing for a while, you’ll know that I despise nice guys. Nice guys is a term in Internet discourse describing a man or teenage boy with a fixation on a friendship building over time into a romance. Treat you better is the song for nice guys. It involves Shawn, a teenager boy saving his friend from an abusive relationship because “When you should be with me instead, I know I can treat you better, Better than he can-” Right, because, you definitely can. I know this song is about domestic violence awareness but instead it sounds like a nice guy wet dream. Besides the lyrics, Shawn Mendes’ voice is very annoying and the production is average. This song is a nice guy anthem.

Can’t Stop the Feeling by Justin Timberlake

The trolls movie had a wide range of enjoyable songs. The trolls was a fairly well marketed movie (yes, trolls lip balm does exist in my local big w) but, by far the most memorable thing about the movie was Can’t stop the feeling by Justin Timberlake. Too bad it sucks. This song is virtually soulless. Justin Timberlake sounds enthusiastic…about the paycheck he’s getting and forgets to put in, y’know, soul, heart, whatever you call it. The lyrics are repetitive and cliched (woohoo, Dance, have fun whatever, so original). It’s a harmless, repetitive song and is incredibly manufactured.

i hate u, i love u by gnash feat Olivia O’brien

And another boring song, yay! This song is about a complex relationship where you can’t decide whether to leave a person or not, it features a piano, a male singer and a female singer. But you could probably tell that from the uncapitalized letters. This is a ridiculously average song. The lyrics are, like closer, vague enough to apply to everybody and personal enough to sound smart and deep, which leaves me with a feeling of averageness. This song tries to be special and fails. Stupidly. Boring song that features a piano, a complex relationship and two singers.

This Is What You Came For by Calvin Harris feat. Rihanna

After the “famous fiasco, this song gives us yet another reason to hate Taylor Swift. This song could’ve worked, Rihanna is a lovely singer and Calvin Harris is a very talented producer, so why didn’t it work? Because repeating “You, oh, oh, you, oh, oh” for god knows how much times is what we call bad lyricism. take notes Taylor swift. The production is pretty mediocre for Calvin Harris, who has demonstrated his skills as a producer and Rihanna’s singing, while better than “work”, is also pretty mediocre. Oh and the music video has been seen 1.1 billion times, literally a few hours ago it was 1.09. Yeah, I think I know why Taylor Swift wanted a credit.

Yeah, I know that 2016 sucks. For everybody. Hopefully 2017 will be better. Merry Christmas.


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